


This love was never supposed to exist

by GoldenNocturne



Series: Rondo of the Fics and Reasoning [2]
Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Trans Character, Drabble, F/M, Multi, Other, a short character study about how sayo feels about kannon and jessica, jessica is mentioned, mentions of george/shannon, this was a bit harder to write, wasnt sure what to put since sayo is trans and kannon is male
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22504099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenNocturne/pseuds/GoldenNocturne
Summary: A drabble studying Kannon/Yasu's feelings about Jessica.
Relationships: Kanon/Ushiromiya Jessica
Series: Rondo of the Fics and Reasoning [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611070
Kudos: 12





	This love was never supposed to exist

To him, Jessica was the sun. The way she sparkled, radiated within a room was amazing. Jessica was free. Free in a way he would never be simply because he was furniture. There was nothing that could be done about that. Nothing would change the dysfunctional body he had. No amount of cheering on from Jessica would ever fix the predicament he was in. Nay, not he, they. For Kannon was merely an illusion created by them. As Sayo Yasuda pulled the wig from off their head within her own room. As they stared into the mirror of their own reflection….

Playing the parts of Shannon and Kannon were taking a toll on them. Kannon had been created as a mere vessel in which to express their more negative emotions. He was never supposed to fall in love with Jessice-ever. Yet he had. They had. Something unforgivable. To fall in love with her was like looking at a solar eclipse, she blinded every one of their senses. The longer Sayo looked in the mirror the more disgusted with themselves they grew. How dare they fall for Jessica. How dare Jessica pursue Kannon. Didn’t they try to push her away time and time again?

But there was no denying the love which seeded itself into the part of their personality that is Kannon. He loved her. Even if that was an illusion, it hurt. Yasu will never be able to allow those feelings to grew. Yet they were planted. They festered and threatened to choke them. Both Kannon and they know this cannot be. Kannon isn’t even real-but a part of them. Yet, they could never reveal the illusion that they created. Yasu never meant to trick Jessica like this, they cared about her. But… was it okay to continue like this? Maybe just a little bit longer. Maybe until Jessica found someone else…

No. They cannot do this. Only one illusion could exist. Only one “love” could go forward. Shannon’s love for George or Kannon’s love for Jessica. Only one of them could go forward and Yasu knew this. They knew they would need to choose and someone would get hurt. Knowing this hurt them as they stood before the mirror. The disgust they felt twisted itself like rusted knives into their flesh.

If only it weren’t for this wretched body. This loveless body doomed them. Now they had tricked not only George, but Jessica into loving them. As their hands cover their face they can do nothing but sob. Sob for Kannon’s love and for the inevitable heartache that would befall who ever was not chosen to continue. Shannon would hurt, or Kannon would. Either George would hurt or Jessica. There was no clean way to stop the illusion which they spun as they tried to pretend to be something other than furniture. Curses dripped from their lips along with the broken tears of regret. If only they had never created Kannon as a means to express themselves and play with the idea of being male. If only they hadn’t been manipulated, raised female. If only their body wasn’t broken.

Wasn’t this all their fault? It was their fault for being broken, for being furniture. Furniture was never supposed to love. Shannon and Kannon were never supposed to love and yet they allowed it. They allowed it and they let the witch Beatrice convince them to go along with it. Why were they given a heart that could know love when they were so dysfunctional? From their body to their mind-everything was broken. Everything was less than human. Their hands slide to their sides as they clutch themselves within the male servant uniform Genji had so generously given them.

They’d have to "kill" Kannon, end the illusion before it progressed any further. Kannon can never know love, least of all with Jessica. He was simply supposed to be a means to express Yasu’s negative emotions. He cannot love. The ocean must forever remain Grey… But was that fair to Kannon?

There were so many questions which ran through their head as they considered these personalities they created. If only they had not been born. For who were they born and why? Yasu found themselves cursing in between the broken sobs. This love hurt them and Kannon alike. Unlike the love they had for George which seemed to stand a better chance, this love for Jessica could only rot and fester as Kannon was not meant to know if the sea is blue. Yet, now he does. He does and it caused Yasu immense pain. It felt like an enormous pressure on their chest. The way he spoke to her, turned her down after going to her concert… He knew she cried. They both knew she cried and that knowledge cut into them, shredded the mental flesh of Yasu’s mind. There was no fixing it and no taking back the words that were spoken. But they needed to be said as Jessica would never understand. It was never meant to be. Beatrice would never let it be. Yasu would never let it be. Jessica deserved better than a broken illusion and broken furniture. But the fact that she thought him human…. Kannon and Yasu would treasure those words in their heart.

But it would never be enough. This fruit would never come to bear.


End file.
